Beloved Osho,
I recall a beautiful story of Hermann Hesse.
I recall a beautiful story of Hermann Hesse.
A woman is pregnant and an old wise man tells her that she may have one wish granted in respect to her child. She wishes that her child be loved by all. This wish is fulfilled, and although the young boy is bad, he is loved by everyone. By the time he has become a young man, he has everything around him that he ever wants. But he is so unhappy that he wants to commit suicide. However, the old wise man reappears and indicates that he can have one wish.
The young man wishes to be able to love everyone rather than be loved by everyone. His wish is fulfilled. His beautiful face becomes old and ugly, and the whole town turns against him. He is stoned and can find no food or clothes. But he is overflowing with love, and every small thing in life becomes a love affair.
He decides to go on a pilgrimage, and one cold night he encounters the same old wise man, who receives him with tremendous love. The pilgrim relaxes into the old sage and becomes an innocent child again.
Osho, would you please comment?
The young man wishes to be able to love everyone rather than be loved by everyone. His wish is fulfilled. His beautiful face becomes old and ugly, and the whole town turns against him. He is stoned and can find no food or clothes. But he is overflowing with love, and every small thing in life becomes a love affair.
He decides to go on a pilgrimage, and one cold night he encounters the same old wise man, who receives him with tremendous love. The pilgrim relaxes into the old sage and becomes an innocent child again.
Osho, would you please comment?
Hermann Hesse is one of the Western minds who has come very close to the Eastern way of looking at things. Perhaps there is no other man of his quality who understands the East better. This story is an indication of his understanding of the Eastern wisdom about love.
The first wish the mother asks is that her child should be loved by all. Looking at the words you will not understand what is hidden behind them. He becomes a young man, he has everything, he is beautiful. Although he is not well-mannered, he is spoilt because everybody loves him unconditionally. But he is not satisfied. As he goes on becoming more mature, the situation comes to a point where he wants to commit suicide.
This is the whole history of all those who want to be loved. Why is he in so much despair? He should be happy. What more can you ask? – everybody loves you, in spite of you. But to the perceiving eye there is something: when you are loved by everybody you become an object of love. You lose your individuality, you lose your integrity, you lose your subjectivity. You become an object. Everybody loves you like a beautiful piece of art – and nobody wants to become an object.
Millions of people
are suffering:
they want to be loved,
but they don’t know
how to love.
And love cannot
exist as a monologue;
it is a dialogue,
a very harmonious dialogue.
The first wish the mother asks is that her child should be loved by all. Looking at the words you will not understand what is hidden behind them. He becomes a young man, he has everything, he is beautiful. Although he is not well-mannered, he is spoilt because everybody loves him unconditionally. But he is not satisfied. As he goes on becoming more mature, the situation comes to a point where he wants to commit suicide.
This is the whole history of all those who want to be loved. Why is he in so much despair? He should be happy. What more can you ask? – everybody loves you, in spite of you. But to the perceiving eye there is something: when you are loved by everybody you become an object of love. You lose your individuality, you lose your integrity, you lose your subjectivity. You become an object. Everybody loves you like a beautiful piece of art – and nobody wants to become an object.
Millions of people
are suffering:
they want to be loved,
but they don’t know
how to love.
And love cannot
exist as a monologue;
it is a dialogue,
a very harmonious dialogue.
That’s what his mother forgot. That’s what millions of people in the world have forgotten. The wish looks perfectly good, but its implications are very dangerous. First, it reduces you from the high status of a subjective consciousness into an objective reality. Everybody loves you without bothering whether you are worthy of it or not. And you are not worthy of it; it is because of the blessing of the old wise man that they are loving you. Their love has spoiled you; you are not of any worth. You understand it, that you are not worthy, but still people are loving you. A great guilt arises in you that something has gone wrong.
Love has to be earned. Unearned love is just like a beggar – without earning anything, spreading his begging bowl before you. Man wants everything to be earned; he wants to be worthy of it. He should not be just a beggar. He is reduced to an object, he is reduced to a beggar. And the boy had no love for anybody, because that was not part of the wish. So you can see: he cannot understand love either.
The fire should be burning on both sides simultaneously.
He has no fire; he is utterly cold, ice-cold. He has never loved anybody. And you can understand the misery of a person who has never loved – because he does not know what love is. According to the blessing everybody is loving him, but according to his understanding, nobody has loved him because he does not know the feel of love. He has never loved anybody – how can he know it?
So all that love surrounding him is just meaningless. As far as he is concerned nobody has loved him. And he is not aware of the wish of his old mother, of the blessing of the old sage. And even if he had been aware, it would not have made any difference.
To understand love, first you should be loving.
Only then can you understand love.
Millions of people are suffering: they want to be loved, but they don’t know how to love. And love cannot exist as a monologue; it is a dialogue, a very harmonious dialogue.
So much love being showered on the man, and still he decides to commit suicide… because it is not what people give to you that satisfies, it is what you give to people that satisfies. It is not by being a beggar that you can be contented, it is by being an emperor, and love makes you an emperor when you give. And you can give so much, inexhaustibly, that the more you give, the more refined, the more cultured, the more perfumed your love becomes – the more there is contentment.
But that poor fellow was in a difficult situation. Everybody was loving him and he did not know what love is. Just fed up with this love he decides to commit suicide. The old sage appears again because the sage knew that that was going to be. The mother had asked something – according to her a great wish but not according to the sage. He knew this wish would lead to suicide. He says, “I can give you one wish.” And you can see immediately what the boy asks for, because that is what he is lacking.
The story is tremendously methodological. On the surface you may not understand it, but underneath everything is so well-connected. The second wish proves what I have been telling you. He asks that he does not want others to love him, he wants to love others. In that, he is showing that the first wish is meaningless without this second wish. He wants to love everyone.
But the story here may seem strange to you, that as the wish is granted, the young and beautiful man changes into an ugly and old man. It indicates that it is only in old age that people come to understand what they missed in their life: they never loved. In their whole life they wanted others to love them, and were miserable. They always wanted to get more and more love; they were greedy...
Osho the transmission of the lamp chap 4 q2
Love has to be earned. Unearned love is just like a beggar – without earning anything, spreading his begging bowl before you. Man wants everything to be earned; he wants to be worthy of it. He should not be just a beggar. He is reduced to an object, he is reduced to a beggar. And the boy had no love for anybody, because that was not part of the wish. So you can see: he cannot understand love either.
The fire should be burning on both sides simultaneously.
He has no fire; he is utterly cold, ice-cold. He has never loved anybody. And you can understand the misery of a person who has never loved – because he does not know what love is. According to the blessing everybody is loving him, but according to his understanding, nobody has loved him because he does not know the feel of love. He has never loved anybody – how can he know it?
So all that love surrounding him is just meaningless. As far as he is concerned nobody has loved him. And he is not aware of the wish of his old mother, of the blessing of the old sage. And even if he had been aware, it would not have made any difference.
To understand love, first you should be loving.
Only then can you understand love.
Millions of people are suffering: they want to be loved, but they don’t know how to love. And love cannot exist as a monologue; it is a dialogue, a very harmonious dialogue.
So much love being showered on the man, and still he decides to commit suicide… because it is not what people give to you that satisfies, it is what you give to people that satisfies. It is not by being a beggar that you can be contented, it is by being an emperor, and love makes you an emperor when you give. And you can give so much, inexhaustibly, that the more you give, the more refined, the more cultured, the more perfumed your love becomes – the more there is contentment.
But that poor fellow was in a difficult situation. Everybody was loving him and he did not know what love is. Just fed up with this love he decides to commit suicide. The old sage appears again because the sage knew that that was going to be. The mother had asked something – according to her a great wish but not according to the sage. He knew this wish would lead to suicide. He says, “I can give you one wish.” And you can see immediately what the boy asks for, because that is what he is lacking.
The story is tremendously methodological. On the surface you may not understand it, but underneath everything is so well-connected. The second wish proves what I have been telling you. He asks that he does not want others to love him, he wants to love others. In that, he is showing that the first wish is meaningless without this second wish. He wants to love everyone.
But the story here may seem strange to you, that as the wish is granted, the young and beautiful man changes into an ugly and old man. It indicates that it is only in old age that people come to understand what they missed in their life: they never loved. In their whole life they wanted others to love them, and were miserable. They always wanted to get more and more love; they were greedy...
Osho the transmission of the lamp chap 4 q2
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